Went to the city... Saw coursemate, let's just call her Cy. I saw her hugging a blonde guy and I guess she was dating him. At that instant, I got transported back straight to the awkward encounter with the guy from SA.
Ugh. Never again.
I also see people of all walks of life around in the city, each with someone special close to savour the moment with.
And then it hit me. That feeling of being lonely. Alone.
Maybe it's Nottingham city. I didn't feel so in London at all.
Ugh.
No more trips to the city anymore for me.
Another iota to my writing
And so it begins. Again. Back in campus before term officially starts and instantly the pool of emotions are brought back to life. Well, not really but memory has its power kick sometimes.
Perhaps you would wonder why would I bother writing on and then off again every now and then. Like some kind of cockroach which just wouldn't give that one last breath after being squashed, drowned, humiliated, hated, ridiculed and die. Or quit. Or give up.
Truth is (brace yourselves, people)....I don't know.
What I do know is I love writing, translating emotions into words with a dash of humour. What? Life can't afford to be that serious, you know? Also what I do know is that my vocabulary and writing capability is also very much limited which explains why am I not writing on an editor's desk instead. So what do you do when you got ample time and lots of ideas running around in your head? A blog, why of course! Genius.
Right.
2 hits per month. Or year? Not to mention I contribute to the hit count too. Can't afford to look bad, you know.
Oops cat out of the bag. And nothing feels any worse than the wave of shame crashing down after admitting to your dirtiest, darkest secret ever.
I'm just gonna bury my head down in the soil like an ostrich now. Forever.
Perhaps you would wonder why would I bother writing on and then off again every now and then. Like some kind of cockroach which just wouldn't give that one last breath after being squashed, drowned, humiliated, hated, ridiculed and die. Or quit. Or give up.
Truth is (brace yourselves, people)....I don't know.
What I do know is I love writing, translating emotions into words with a dash of humour. What? Life can't afford to be that serious, you know? Also what I do know is that my vocabulary and writing capability is also very much limited which explains why am I not writing on an editor's desk instead. So what do you do when you got ample time and lots of ideas running around in your head? A blog, why of course! Genius.
Right.
2 hits per month. Or year? Not to mention I contribute to the hit count too. Can't afford to look bad, you know.
Oops cat out of the bag. And nothing feels any worse than the wave of shame crashing down after admitting to your dirtiest, darkest secret ever.
I'm just gonna bury my head down in the soil like an ostrich now. Forever.
Aftermath
Exam's over. The rush, adrenaline, chase is gone. Finally the time has come to allow things to sink through my mind.
The storm has now subsided, what's left behind is just...heaps of debris. Nothing survived through, all that you worked for is just well, ruins. I have a lot to tell. In fact it would exorcise a thousand demons inside me. The truth is I've been feeling all sorts of emotions at once...anguish, peace, discontentment, joy. All I know for sure is I'm lost but I don't intend to be found.
The storm has now subsided, what's left behind is just...heaps of debris. Nothing survived through, all that you worked for is just well, ruins. I have a lot to tell. In fact it would exorcise a thousand demons inside me. The truth is I've been feeling all sorts of emotions at once...anguish, peace, discontentment, joy. All I know for sure is I'm lost but I don't intend to be found.
why
No one would ever thought it would turn out this way. If I could turn the clock back...I wish I could.
I took him for granted. And even though it wasn't anyone's fault, looking back the way the path had twisted into...I can say it was all my fault. If only, if only.
All I can say is...it's over.
I took him for granted. And even though it wasn't anyone's fault, looking back the way the path had twisted into...I can say it was all my fault. If only, if only.
All I can say is...it's over.
Butterfly Takes Off: is it too late to remind how we were
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY&feature=share
Life has many surprising turns
Story of my life. Met a nice orang putih on train. He seemed really interested...even asked me out for coffee. Syok right? After that it's as though I'm a plaque. Must have screwed up somewhere. Fine, it's just a train ride and we're from different places. Apalah. Better if I have not known him at all. How confusing.
Anyway, all along I've stayed devoted and loyal to my boyfriend. However this time there was a temptation to pursue further especially with all the turbulence and turmoil. However after giving another thought, perhaps it was after all the thrill of being wanted and the possibility of escaping my life and start afresh again.
Funny how minds can change so quickly. Just a moment ago I was determined to find my yahkid and now I'm so heavily distracted. Such fragile is the human mind. This time I would like to start right, fix my life rather than abandoning and escape from it. Time to turn my life around.
Anyway, all along I've stayed devoted and loyal to my boyfriend. However this time there was a temptation to pursue further especially with all the turbulence and turmoil. However after giving another thought, perhaps it was after all the thrill of being wanted and the possibility of escaping my life and start afresh again.
Funny how minds can change so quickly. Just a moment ago I was determined to find my yahkid and now I'm so heavily distracted. Such fragile is the human mind. This time I would like to start right, fix my life rather than abandoning and escape from it. Time to turn my life around.