Song Without Words

He has always been in my heart and mind. As for his photo, it has always been in purse.

Somehow I could never bring myself to gaze at his picture long enough lest the inevitable urge to break down and cry will follow. Thus, for days it lay hidden in my purse, behind layers of cards or sometimes when I look at the picture, it will only be a flash and that's it. Not long enough to trigger the tears reflex response, I'm spared from another cry-me-a-river session.

Funny, because last night I seemed to forget about all the consciousness and I pulled out the picture to have a good long stare at it. As I gazed more and more, the familiar sense that I have not been faced in ages came flooding over me- his face that identifies him. All the sudden I can see him smile back to me. Instead of suppressing the wave of warmth, I let it all flush down on me. I was afraid of losing the sense of warmth, was afraid of losing the familiar look that gives a thousand assurance. Quickly, I sought to learn him by heart as much as I could.

In the midst of worries, there came a whisper from my heart that I need not try to learn him by heart but came no reason why to explain. Finally from deep down the bottom of my heart, I finally realised that I didn't have to learn him because I have already known him by heart. Just, not much enough...and at that exact moment I realised that I love and miss him so much.

Undefined by words but by intuition instead, that was the answer I have been searching all the while.

The inevitable gush of salted geyser soon followed..probably due to bad formulation of hormones. Drat.

It has been...

1 hour since I smsed him.

1 week since we talked over the phone.

22 days since he left.

138 days since I last saw him.

Never a moment I stopped wishing to see him again.

Another wave of...

...nostalgia hit me again this time. Thanks to the same old song and another by Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone.

Drat.

Nostalgia

It has been a long time since I searched for the song "With You" by Chris Brown on the radio but never get to catch it on air. Then this morning the song finally came on air and I remembered how often P.Russ told me to switch on the radio to catch the song but I was never with the radio.

Feeling a little nostalgic right now. Correction, VERY nostalgic. *sigh*

Nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form. Nostalgia may or may not also be known as homesickness.-Wikipedia.