Seriously you want to know how my life is turning out? Sucked big time.
In movies you would hear adults showing their emo scars they got from high school: how mean those girls were and probably still are, what it felt to be labeled as a freak, yada yada yada and today they are just perfectly normal in a better place.
Fast forward to my so-called adult life, it's a far cry from anything near this hierarchy thingy. Except there are no queen bees and some rugby player; just queens. Or divas.
Looking back, I don't recall my high school being anywhere near that difficult. They don't isolate you simply because they believe you are trying to steal their friends (no, I do not know how on earth that idea came about) nor do they play some dumb cold war simply because you made a decision based on logic and they believed you take sides. Next thing you know, every single memo you send out will translate into either stony silence or some you're-taking-sides-rant.
Or when you realised that you might not that likable by someone it does not equal to hate or loath. It's just I'm keeping a distance to avoid unnecessary friction. Why is it so important for everyone to love you? We like you enough, let's just stick to that.
DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. If only there's Best Reality Show Storyline in Oscars. At least there's some consolation in it. It takes another pain to forget another I guess. Those wounds I got in college are simply...preliminary to this huge giant black hole.
Or maybe because I am learning to live life in balance; that my degree is not only my ultimate goal. I have a relationship to care of, with a very great guy which I do not ever want to lose because I didn't do enough of my part. I have family. And not to forget I want to pick up on knowing more of God. It simply does not mean I don't care to study. It simply means I don't want to lose other beautiful things in my life for one single goal. That's not sacrifice or compromise...that is simply taking things for granted. And for what? Recognition that probably costs more pain than its supposedly fulfilling reward.
