Every time those words ruin my day, every time the tone demotivates, every time the sentences break my spirit, every time when it seems hopeless John Lennon comes into my mind with his song Jealous Guy.
For that I'm willing to drop all my feelings and let it go, with all the hurt and pain behind...no trace.
Choices
It all comes down to one question: What do you want?
I come to a point where I face this question and have no answer in turn. When I don't get the attention I wish for, my moods take a nose dive and hit bottom crash. Hard.
Really, I wonder...is it truly his love that I'm hungry for? Or is it plainly I thirst after attention on me? Which do I take? If it's really his love then why does my rationale refuses to understand his situations, that he has his needs and other priorities, and I can't just insist on being his focus all the time?
If it's not, then am I being selfish? If it's only my need for attention, then why must it be only from him, not other company in my life?
And why would I still continue to rely my happiness solely on him? Why wouldn't I try to look for inner joy on my own and then only search for added happiness from him?
It all comes down to one question: What is it that I want?
I can only choose one answer and each answer gives a path that gives different lives to lead.
I choose to love and to cherish him instead.
I come to a point where I face this question and have no answer in turn. When I don't get the attention I wish for, my moods take a nose dive and hit bottom crash. Hard.
Really, I wonder...is it truly his love that I'm hungry for? Or is it plainly I thirst after attention on me? Which do I take? If it's really his love then why does my rationale refuses to understand his situations, that he has his needs and other priorities, and I can't just insist on being his focus all the time?
If it's not, then am I being selfish? If it's only my need for attention, then why must it be only from him, not other company in my life?
And why would I still continue to rely my happiness solely on him? Why wouldn't I try to look for inner joy on my own and then only search for added happiness from him?
It all comes down to one question: What is it that I want?
I can only choose one answer and each answer gives a path that gives different lives to lead.
I choose to love and to cherish him instead.
