One thing lead to another, now the plan is off. Maybe, tomorrow. Perhaps some other day.
Maybe an ice-cream would cheer me up. Kind of like ant bite. Ouch but its alright, you know.
I guess the distance is no longer that foreign to me by now.
No desserts
Supposedly today is free enough for us to meet. Supposedly we carry out our oh-so-juicy plan.
One thing lead to another, now the plan is off. Maybe, tomorrow. Perhaps some other day.
Maybe an ice-cream would cheer me up.
Supposedly I feel something...actually I do. Yet at the same time, it doesn't really sting.
Kind of like ant bite. Ouch but its alright, you know.
I guess the distance is no longer that foreign to me by now.
One thing lead to another, now the plan is off. Maybe, tomorrow. Perhaps some other day.
Maybe an ice-cream would cheer me up. Kind of like ant bite. Ouch but its alright, you know.
I guess the distance is no longer that foreign to me by now.
Sunshine
Good morning, world.
'Tis a wonderful morning to a glorious day! Nothing beats absorbing the free rays from the sun and feel the world is so beautiful.
cantik kan gambar ni? its taken by a malaysian photographer. so proud~
Ok, before everyone gets baffled I shall explain: I GOT NEW CURTAINS! And the cool thing is...it allows the sun to come in.
Isn't that fantastic or what? But it gets kinda hot that I need to shift to my japanese table at the other side of the room if I want to work but can't complain.
This is already so good.
'Tis a wonderful morning to a glorious day! Nothing beats absorbing the free rays from the sun and feel the world is so beautiful.
cantik kan gambar ni? its taken by a malaysian photographer. so proud~
Isn't that fantastic or what? But it gets kinda hot that I need to shift to my japanese table at the other side of the room if I want to work but can't complain.
This is already so good.
Walking on
It seems that the world around me is like a giant sink: gravity plays the major role.
As for me, I choose to defy the pessimism and look ahead for light in the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes the feeling of rejection can be so strongly felt that you start to wonder if you're not smart enough, not beautiful enough, not worth the time. In the end the reason lies not on everyone else but it's in my heart- never mind what other people thinks, I feel great inside.
Someday I'll find the light. For now...well, for now I'll just keep on walking with head held high and keep on walking.
As for me, I choose to defy the pessimism and look ahead for light in the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes the feeling of rejection can be so strongly felt that you start to wonder if you're not smart enough, not beautiful enough, not worth the time. In the end the reason lies not on everyone else but it's in my heart- never mind what other people thinks, I feel great inside.
Someday I'll find the light. For now...well, for now I'll just keep on walking with head held high and keep on walking.
left? right?
I've been there; deep deep down so low that you don't see any traces of light.
And I found myself sinking deep down again. But I guess this time memory serves its purpose and I will try to swim my way up this time.
I shall stop clapping my hand, the other hand is not up to my beat. Yes, it's my life and I shall find my own ways to fill up the void.
C'est la vie~
And I found myself sinking deep down again. But I guess this time memory serves its purpose and I will try to swim my way up this time.
I shall stop clapping my hand, the other hand is not up to my beat. Yes, it's my life and I shall find my own ways to fill up the void.
C'est la vie~
Wrecked.
I returned...on my shield from battle. Was supposed to return with my shield but instead, on my shield.
Let's just say I wore the wrong shoes for battle, ooops I forgot to check my Achilles heel. And yes, I got shot there. Every single time.
I went there in full sail like Titanic and sunk altogether all thanks to an iceberg. 4 long years was what it took to prepare the ship and one night is all it took to sink altogether.
Six solid hours of preparations practically went down the drain all because of one small mistake. Just one wrong step. ONE.
Let's just say I wore the wrong shoes for battle, ooops I forgot to check my Achilles heel. And yes, I got shot there. Every single time.
I went there in full sail like Titanic and sunk altogether all thanks to an iceberg. 4 long years was what it took to prepare the ship and one night is all it took to sink altogether.
Six solid hours of preparations practically went down the drain all because of one small mistake. Just one wrong step. ONE.
Battle jitters
I've never really experienced a real weather storm before like(God forbid) a hurricane, twister or cyclone.
But I'm pretty sure that I can actually feel as what the world calls as the calm before the storm.
Yes, lab practical's tomorrow. Forgive me if I've been too deep into pharmacy but that's life for me at this time. So what if I lose the sense of the real world when there's a battle that holds the potential to rob off the remnant of my sanity and bliss that's holding me from falling apart?
Well, at least I prepared more this time for what's ahead. Armor, check. Helmet, check. Crossbow, check. When all else fails, at least I got the consolation that I tried my best and pat myself on my wounded sore back.
But I'm pretty sure that I can actually feel as what the world calls as the calm before the storm.
Oh ya, baby...blow my hair dry.
No amount of training can ever prepare me for what battle is about to pour out tomorrow. Only God knows how many demons shall be exorcised in 6-hours lab tomorrow. Pure sadism that could potentially make u cry or laugh or both at the same time. Of which only tomorrow shall tell.Yes, lab practical's tomorrow. Forgive me if I've been too deep into pharmacy but that's life for me at this time. So what if I lose the sense of the real world when there's a battle that holds the potential to rob off the remnant of my sanity and bliss that's holding me from falling apart?
Well, at least I prepared more this time for what's ahead. Armor, check. Helmet, check. Crossbow, check. When all else fails, at least I got the consolation that I tried my best and pat myself on my wounded sore back.
SLOW DAY
What a boring day.
No soul to talk to. No movie to watch either. Occasional chat on-line with friends, no other than that. House all empty, all off to elsewhere other than Hell Land.
Look, the entire uni lot is DESERTED.
The quietness is supposed to be the motivation to study but what the heck, I'm more motivated when there're more things to juggle with (no, I don't mean more school work).
Oh wait, there's my mum I can call to.
No soul to talk to. No movie to watch either. Occasional chat on-line with friends, no other than that. House all empty, all off to elsewhere other than Hell Land.
Look, the entire uni lot is DESERTED.Oh wait, there's my mum I can call to.
Patience...
There are somethings in my heart I simply can't translate into words because words seem inadequate or rather my vocabulary failed me. One of the those winds is the heavy feeling down my gut following rejection. Yes, the familiar feeling has returned. The same feeling that reminds you that you are nowhere near perfect or even acceptable, the same feeling that leaves you feeling like an island.
Rather than running off to the solace of my home, this time I know better. Maybe not much better but at least I won't head straight to my shelter.
I have to admit, I did dread to return back here, to the home I never wanted to address. I did wish to stay within the fortress of my consolation, run and hide away from the ugly truth that stings. But here I am, facing the world that seems like never mine.
No, I won't turn back.
History proved that patience is the best virtue.
Once upon a time in my life, there was the worst guy in the whole world. For the interest of the study, we shall call him Cigarette. Dear Mr. Cigarette was a young talented, resourceful, intelligent man whom nearly no one could ever tolerate, lest much to say a person you would come close and confide in. No one in the world except two sweet souls, Salad and Iron who chose to tolerate it all and learn to understand grumpy Mr. Cigar.
Fast forward, Mr. Cigar changed for the better and the world seem to like him. Somehow extraordinary blossomed; Salad and Iron are the only ones that Mr. Cigar would confide with even with all the world's open arms and tender loving care to Cigarette.
Moral of the story, patience has its infinite rewards. From this story, a wonderful special friendship that blossomed out against all odds. It all suddenly hit me; how exactly did a person lose his patience and tolerance completely? All because he lost faith in bullies who succeed to rob him of his faith in humankind, he chose to close his heart out to the world and missed the blessings that the world could offer.
This time I chose to exercise patience with understanding. For all the better reasons, I choose to blossom in this hard soil, no matter how tough life is.
Just like a flower that grew through the cracks of the wall.
Rather than running off to the solace of my home, this time I know better. Maybe not much better but at least I won't head straight to my shelter.
I have to admit, I did dread to return back here, to the home I never wanted to address. I did wish to stay within the fortress of my consolation, run and hide away from the ugly truth that stings. But here I am, facing the world that seems like never mine.
No, I won't turn back.
History proved that patience is the best virtue.
Once upon a time in my life, there was the worst guy in the whole world. For the interest of the study, we shall call him Cigarette. Dear Mr. Cigarette was a young talented, resourceful, intelligent man whom nearly no one could ever tolerate, lest much to say a person you would come close and confide in. No one in the world except two sweet souls, Salad and Iron who chose to tolerate it all and learn to understand grumpy Mr. Cigar.
Fast forward, Mr. Cigar changed for the better and the world seem to like him. Somehow extraordinary blossomed; Salad and Iron are the only ones that Mr. Cigar would confide with even with all the world's open arms and tender loving care to Cigarette.
Moral of the story, patience has its infinite rewards. From this story, a wonderful special friendship that blossomed out against all odds. It all suddenly hit me; how exactly did a person lose his patience and tolerance completely? All because he lost faith in bullies who succeed to rob him of his faith in humankind, he chose to close his heart out to the world and missed the blessings that the world could offer.
This time I chose to exercise patience with understanding. For all the better reasons, I choose to blossom in this hard soil, no matter how tough life is.
Just like a flower that grew through the cracks of the wall.
Who can say where the heart chose? Only time.
As always, academic year starts with a brand new hype and motivation. Energetic and eager, only this time with the intuition that hell's about to break loose anytime but the magnitude of it, i'm not too sure. Thus, I'm more prepared but at the same time, I'm less.
Feels exactly like climbing up the roller coaster, with breath held tight anticipating and dreading at the same time for the plunge.
By the way, I just read the old posts. It's just unbelievable it was the same person wrote the exactly opposite to what she sees today. Or at least at a very different angle. Looking back, I'm pretty certain that time certainly does heal, or at least allows wound to heal. How fast things change altogether.
Well, I guess to turn a coin you have to flip it and no matter how hard u blow, you'll never get to flip it around. And I learnt that acceptance does not come easily, sometimes it takes hard work and patience aplenty to sink in reality and replace dreams that only exist in perfect world.
I think 'tis time I prepare for the storm rather than stand and watch for it.
Feels exactly like climbing up the roller coaster, with breath held tight anticipating and dreading at the same time for the plunge.
By the way, I just read the old posts. It's just unbelievable it was the same person wrote the exactly opposite to what she sees today. Or at least at a very different angle. Looking back, I'm pretty certain that time certainly does heal, or at least allows wound to heal. How fast things change altogether.
Well, I guess to turn a coin you have to flip it and no matter how hard u blow, you'll never get to flip it around. And I learnt that acceptance does not come easily, sometimes it takes hard work and patience aplenty to sink in reality and replace dreams that only exist in perfect world.
I think 'tis time I prepare for the storm rather than stand and watch for it.