Choices

It all comes down to one question: What do you want?

I come to a point where I face this question and have no answer in turn. When I don't get the attention I wish for, my moods take a nose dive and hit bottom crash. Hard.

Really, I wonder...is it truly his love that I'm hungry for? Or is it plainly I thirst after attention on me? Which do I take? If it's really his love then why does my rationale refuses to understand his situations, that he has his needs and other priorities, and I can't just insist on being his focus all the time?

If it's not, then am I being selfish? If it's only my need for attention, then why must it be only from him, not other company in my life?

And why would I still continue to rely my happiness solely on him? Why wouldn't I try to look for inner joy on my own and then only search for added happiness from him?

It all comes down to one question: What is it that I want?
I can only choose one answer and each answer gives a path that gives different lives to lead.

I choose to love and to cherish him instead.