The only place I can say my thoughts without worrying the possibility of hurting anyone's feelings. Or hearing. So here goes.
This whole long distance relationship thing. All I ever need is to hold on til we meet again. Reset button. In fact a lot like an aspirin after a long headache. Honestly, I don't know how long will I be able to hold on. Either way everyone's going to get hurt. Either way healing is necessary. Lately there's been too much of this.
I wish you could hear the voice deep in me. I love you but why do I feel like I'm drowning? I can't imagine my life without you but why does being with you suffocates? I'm tired of deciding what to do...this time can you decide instead?
Record of my life
Just cried. I just want to say lately I feel like really drowning in this relationship. After all these years it felt like talking to a stranger. Opinions oppose. Views that you can't share. And it's really easier to just cry alone than to struggle to work it out.
Writing again?
I remembered the last time I screamed that way to a guy was actually to my ex. At that point I decided there was no need to try salvage the sinking relationship.
Never would I thought that today I would be doing the same, screaming just as loud. And I really don't know what my next step should be...because the last time I did the same I already cut off the previous relationship. Honestly sometimes it's so much easier, shut it down and not think of it. Done.
In fact, haha it's so much cleaner if I slip away this time- he's from another state, we won't get to meet and seriously, what are the odds of bumping into him in the streets? Simple and easy.
Jokes aside, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe the tide will come down again. Or maybe the dam will start to show some cracks and eventually blow off.
Or maybe the tide will come down again.
Never would I thought that today I would be doing the same, screaming just as loud. And I really don't know what my next step should be...because the last time I did the same I already cut off the previous relationship. Honestly sometimes it's so much easier, shut it down and not think of it. Done.
In fact, haha it's so much cleaner if I slip away this time- he's from another state, we won't get to meet and seriously, what are the odds of bumping into him in the streets? Simple and easy.
Jokes aside, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe the tide will come down again. Or maybe the dam will start to show some cracks and eventually blow off.
Or maybe the tide will come down again.
ice cream
three ice cream cones for three days consecutively. i think i gotta stop. its expensive come to think of it. and i might lau sai soon.
sunny day today.
sunny day today.
mayday
I don't know if anyone ever reads this blog again. Well, it does feel good sometimes reading back old memories...reading those posts really take you back down memory lane as if you relive those moments again.
I don't really know how to tell this to anyone; all along there's a constant reminder in my head that I am actually not truly happy. With results showing crap, heavy workload sometimes I really don't know where to vent it all out. All this while I really wish I could go back home and shut the world behind me, not hear a thing. Sit back and actually BREATHE.
This time I feel that this is hard-cold reality in my face rather than an episode of drama. Wish I can just be honest and say "I'm not really ok...can you give me a hug?" I've been burying this feeling deep down and I just hope I can suppress it down til the storm gets over.
I don't really know how to tell this to anyone; all along there's a constant reminder in my head that I am actually not truly happy. With results showing crap, heavy workload sometimes I really don't know where to vent it all out. All this while I really wish I could go back home and shut the world behind me, not hear a thing. Sit back and actually BREATHE.
This time I feel that this is hard-cold reality in my face rather than an episode of drama. Wish I can just be honest and say "I'm not really ok...can you give me a hug?" I've been burying this feeling deep down and I just hope I can suppress it down til the storm gets over.
too late.
When the world compliments on you yet your heart goes out to that one
When he happens to be the only one who don't get to see that
You just have no choice other than to suck it up and you go on to try to fill the gap that can never be filled.
And time? Always the factor which widens the gap into an inconsolable ocean.
When he happens to be the only one who don't get to see that
You just have no choice other than to suck it up and you go on to try to fill the gap that can never be filled.
And time? Always the factor which widens the gap into an inconsolable ocean.
Berdikari = Berdiri di kaki sendiri.
Lightnings do strike. Not just once, twice but thrice.
Three strikes is a wake up call: enough,that's it, I'm done. I'm learning to stand on my own two feet.
Day 1 starts from here.
Three strikes is a wake up call: enough,that's it, I'm done. I'm learning to stand on my own two feet.
Day 1 starts from here.