Distance

Distance makes the heart fonder. Fact or myth? That's your call. As for me, it works like magic, but fools like magic too.

This time, I have sour grapes to sell instead. I shall tell why. More and more frequent when I dreamt about P.Russ (which is supposed to be good isn't it?) BUT (always a but)...I can't find him. Nope, I can't see him nor can I hear him yet I am still communicating with him.

That's when I realised that he is officially now the Guy-In-The-Phone. And the last time I dreamt , I could see other people in my dreams (too bad, not handsome) but when it comes the P.Russ, all I see is...a cellphone screen staring at me. While other parts of the dreams became so animated, when shifting to him all I hear is a silence. And then I can see some alphabet texts. Even in dreams I can't meet him; I only get to read text messages. How animated. How exciting. Who knows the next dream I can see him but when I want to speak, I'd flash out my phone and text him instead.

The most naive thought I have is thinking that having internet solves the distance problem. Now all I got is an internet connection that blows my wallet and be used only for checking mails. No, I don't find solitary in online games. Only books make me happy.

Worst of all, I kept thinking of getting internet connection day and night believing that it's the best way to reach out to him and only to find myself smitten and crushed to the very inside of me. Either he's busy or I'm busy, or he has no connection or I don't. Soon when uni starts, all the memories left behind will only be left behind and that's it.

Only I am the biggest fool of thinking of going through all the steps to reach a destination that never exists. As always, it happens all the time.