Every time those words ruin my day, every time the tone demotivates, every time the sentences break my spirit, every time when it seems hopeless John Lennon comes into my mind with his song Jealous Guy.
For that I'm willing to drop all my feelings and let it go, with all the hurt and pain behind...no trace.
Choices
It all comes down to one question: What do you want?
I come to a point where I face this question and have no answer in turn. When I don't get the attention I wish for, my moods take a nose dive and hit bottom crash. Hard.
Really, I wonder...is it truly his love that I'm hungry for? Or is it plainly I thirst after attention on me? Which do I take? If it's really his love then why does my rationale refuses to understand his situations, that he has his needs and other priorities, and I can't just insist on being his focus all the time?
If it's not, then am I being selfish? If it's only my need for attention, then why must it be only from him, not other company in my life?
And why would I still continue to rely my happiness solely on him? Why wouldn't I try to look for inner joy on my own and then only search for added happiness from him?
It all comes down to one question: What is it that I want?
I can only choose one answer and each answer gives a path that gives different lives to lead.
I choose to love and to cherish him instead.
I come to a point where I face this question and have no answer in turn. When I don't get the attention I wish for, my moods take a nose dive and hit bottom crash. Hard.
Really, I wonder...is it truly his love that I'm hungry for? Or is it plainly I thirst after attention on me? Which do I take? If it's really his love then why does my rationale refuses to understand his situations, that he has his needs and other priorities, and I can't just insist on being his focus all the time?
If it's not, then am I being selfish? If it's only my need for attention, then why must it be only from him, not other company in my life?
And why would I still continue to rely my happiness solely on him? Why wouldn't I try to look for inner joy on my own and then only search for added happiness from him?
It all comes down to one question: What is it that I want?
I can only choose one answer and each answer gives a path that gives different lives to lead.
I choose to love and to cherish him instead.
stoned
Sometimes it seems really undeserving when all day you're in cloud nine but just that one sentence spoken in a very lousy tone simply shatters your day. Like a stone hitting right through the window.
I was really soaring high in the skies and before you know it, I lost my wings.
I survived through practical sessions today, scathed and battered. But no, I wasn't even an inch close to being emo while some others gave faces that exorcised a thousand demons. In fact, I felt still great.
I survived through the deprivation of TGIF and still felt its fine. Just an afternoon and a weekend off to finish up reports..I still have another 51 more in a year to enjoy, doesn't matter.
Sigh...but just that one sentence of disapproval simply turns my world outside down. Feeling emo? Check. Down? Check. Loss motivation? Check.
I lost it. The momentum is gone. All I have left is the cruel reminder of the harsh, cold reality that slaps me hard on the face, stripping me off the only sense of hope to keep me going.
And that's all that's left.
I was really soaring high in the skies and before you know it, I lost my wings.
I survived through practical sessions today, scathed and battered. But no, I wasn't even an inch close to being emo while some others gave faces that exorcised a thousand demons. In fact, I felt still great.
I survived through the deprivation of TGIF and still felt its fine. Just an afternoon and a weekend off to finish up reports..I still have another 51 more in a year to enjoy, doesn't matter.
Sigh...but just that one sentence of disapproval simply turns my world outside down. Feeling emo? Check. Down? Check. Loss motivation? Check.
I lost it. The momentum is gone. All I have left is the cruel reminder of the harsh, cold reality that slaps me hard on the face, stripping me off the only sense of hope to keep me going.
And that's all that's left.
I'm still alive and kicking
Hello, world. Testing, testing, one two three...can you hear me?
After a long comma (in writing, not my physical health), i believe it's time to resuscitate my love for writing(craps) again.
Long story short, life has proved to be easier and tougher along the way...the path that I trod on is now smoother but proves to be pretty slippery too. One *oops* and you'll fall. Hard.
As for writing or rather typing,the inspiration or actually, the skill that's necessary to compose a post has definitely slumped altogether...in fact, came to a total full stop. But then again, we all need to start somewhere don't we? So then again, life goes on from...here? Actually I'm still living my life the best I can. Only I didn't write them into words and post them into the web.
Well, more to pour out with plenty of useless facts to flog your brain with lame, over exaggerated remarks.
Don't say I didn't warn you of bad posts from here. That's all folks!
After a long comma (in writing, not my physical health), i believe it's time to resuscitate my love for writing(craps) again.
Long story short, life has proved to be easier and tougher along the way...the path that I trod on is now smoother but proves to be pretty slippery too. One *oops* and you'll fall. Hard.
As for writing or rather typing,the inspiration or actually, the skill that's necessary to compose a post has definitely slumped altogether...in fact, came to a total full stop. But then again, we all need to start somewhere don't we? So then again, life goes on from...here? Actually I'm still living my life the best I can. Only I didn't write them into words and post them into the web.
Well, more to pour out with plenty of useless facts to flog your brain with lame, over exaggerated remarks.
Don't say I didn't warn you of bad posts from here. That's all folks!
Cuts...
When you have the idea of how the future is mapped in front of you and you can see how beautiful it gets, its inspiration.
It seems that when you lose control of certain situations and you feel down, thats depression. If the remedy is as so simple, all we need to learn is to resign as pilots of our lives. Feeling rock bottom low sometimes don't happen for any reason, it just does.
While some cuts heal, some wounds bleed out and the gap never close up. Especially those cut by the people you expect to soothe, the scars will only remind you of how painful it is.
It seems that when you lose control of certain situations and you feel down, thats depression. If the remedy is as so simple, all we need to learn is to resign as pilots of our lives. Feeling rock bottom low sometimes don't happen for any reason, it just does.
While some cuts heal, some wounds bleed out and the gap never close up. Especially those cut by the people you expect to soothe, the scars will only remind you of how painful it is.
One way leads to another
Have you ever moments before you dip in your spoon to taste a hot curry to find that the dish was swapped for a bowl of tom yam instead?
The truth is...I'm cranky 'cause I'm hungry
The best to avoid getting yourself hurt is not to expect from the people you love...no matter how tiny your expectation may be.
It is always easier said than done. And my actions spoke much louder than my own words. Again and again, I get disappointed by my own anticipation.
If then, why do I keep hoping so much? I wish to be more grateful, to be thankful - for instance, I am not a victim of any calamities that hit on Earthlings even more frequent than the Old Faithful. But no, it can't be helped; the grass is much greener on the other side.
I can't help but to keep on wishing that I will get to talk those sweet nothings on the phone, or meet up with him which only end up meeting empty frustrations.
Just hand me fries and burgers and I'll be fine. I'm famished and it dries my endorphines out.
It is always easier said than done. And my actions spoke much louder than my own words. Again and again, I get disappointed by my own anticipation.
If then, why do I keep hoping so much? I wish to be more grateful, to be thankful - for instance, I am not a victim of any calamities that hit on Earthlings even more frequent than the Old Faithful. But no, it can't be helped; the grass is much greener on the other side.
I can't help but to keep on wishing that I will get to talk those sweet nothings on the phone, or meet up with him which only end up meeting empty frustrations.
Just hand me fries and burgers and I'll be fine. I'm famished and it dries my endorphines out.